The Dangers of ‘Soft’ Self-Care

Written by: Leela H.

Edited by: Happy J.

The prioritization of self-care as a movement and a cultural trend was popularized in the mid 2010’s amidst an increasingly work-oriented grind culture. During this decade countries around the world were seen to have increases in the suicide rate, depression rate, and the number of people who had reported feeling burnt out. This was especially true among younger generations like Millenials and Gen Z. Its portrayal in the media has seen mixed reviews over the past few years. And while many people from older generations were quick to write it off as another example of Millennial entitlement and laziness, it has been heralded by mental health practitioners and social media bloggers as a necessity and a legitimate form of healthcare. However, while there are many reasons to support self-care (including ones discussed on the Grapevine podcast), the fact is there is also a danger in much of the self-care that has been touted over social media.

Self-care can rationalize the isolation of someone in need of help. For the majority of people methods of self-care typically include staying at home and away from sources of stress. This has resulted in the isolation of whoever is practicing it, and while as an introvert myself I will acknowledge that self-care for me often means staying in my own space. This is something that can develop into a legitimate problem when considering the fact that overtime isolation has been strongly linked with higher levels of anxiety and depression. In addition, many people have taken the idea of focusing on oneself first as an excuse to ignore the problems of those closest to them. Furthering the isolation epidemic and weak close connections between people that has only increased in the last 4 decades in America. In addition to harming yourself and your levels of anxiety, it also hurts those closest to you and may weaken your relationship with them.

Another reason why self-care has so often been separated from caring for one’s health is that in recent years, self-care has become a trend rather than an important tool for the maintenance of one’s mental health. This has led to the inevitable marketization of self-care in the form of treating oneself to X or Y company’s products. Simultaneously the role of social media influencers in helping others identify self-care practices.Once self-care was capitalized on by non-health professionals it was in some cases delegitmize and ultimately less helpful.

An even greater danger of such features of self-care is the social media promoted concept of “soft” self-care, which is when self-care is taught or used as a way in which people can distract themselves from important work or used in the place of real self-care. The appeal of taking a mental health day and skipping that important presentation at work, or confronting an issue at school, has become an increasingly large facet of self-care promotions. Something which is responsible for an increase in long-term stress, as it does nothing to solve the root of the problem or either ignores it entirely.

This is especially dangerous and often outright irresponsible in the case of those with legitimate mental illnesses. During depressive episodes it is not uncommon for people to have not taken care of themselves or their home, because it might be too difficult for them to find the motivation to work or exert the effort. However, when self-care advocacy blogs reassure people who have not showered in a week, or cleaned their house in a month. When they tell people who are suffering the effects of a depressive episode that what they are doing is okay, and that they can continue on this path or solve their problems by taking a bubble bath this presents a new and even greater challenge. Oftentimes the necessary self-care people with serious mental health issues need is not cute or relaxing and because eating a fresh meal or doing the laundry, or any other number of necessary actions people need to take to be healthy cannot be as successfully marketed, it isn’t. The effect of which has been a surplus of information which is incredibly unhelpful, if not detrimental to the health of the demographic it was originally intended for.

It is for these reasons that although the roots of the self-care movement and much of its content can be identified and acknowledged as important and/or valuable. It is also equally important to recognize that much of what we are familiar with as self-care is in no capacity the end all of the work needed to be done to live a healthy life either physically or mentally.

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Works cited:

• “When Self-Care Becomes a Weapon.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 12 July 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healing-together/201907/when-self-care-becomes-weapon.